REF BRINGS DOWN PLAYER!

Why do refs go after players? That's the second time this happened this season!

WAIT! IS THIS A RAPING GAME?

I'm sorry but is this game about getting Custer to rape an Indian girl under an arrow storm?

Tsk, tsk, tsk. I guess, back in 1988, people were more accepting of rape.

HOW DO I KNOW THESE TICKETS ARE REAL?

Coz her...shirt says so.

MONSTER BLOCK ON THE WAY!

This is why I'm an Andres Nocioni fan.

WADE SENDS 2 GRIZZLIES SPRAWLING!

Life's good when you're DWade.

IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS...

...shouldn't Lebron just shoot it?

INNOCENT OR NOT? YOU DECIDE.

Maybe they're just really close friends?

NEW TYPE OF DEFENSE TAKES NBA BY STORM!

Forget about "hand in the face". Let's welcome..."hand to the crotch"!

BEFORE THERE WAS YAO...

...there were Wang Zhi Zhi and Bateer Menk. 

They were part of the original Great Wall of China (with Gong Xiao Bin). 

These two  went on to undistinguished NBA careers (although they did chew up their Asian competitors) while Gong is now a coach in the Chinese Basketball League. 

WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL IS A LIGER?

Too bad Andres Nocioni didn't pick that animal.

I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS ILLEGAL TOO!

Isn't there a rule somewhere that coaches can't do this?

WANT TO PLAY FOR THE DARK SIDE?

Star Wars geeks everywhere, unite!

Now you can play for your team of choice with these jerseys!

IM PRETTY SURE THIS IS A FOUL.

Seriously, I know Matt Harpring is one of the "better" defenders in the NBA but this is kinda ridiculous!

GREAT SONG FOR WOULD BE SPORTS HEROES!

Not everyone can be like Michael Jordan...but we all have a place in the sports world.

Cause everyone's a hero in their own way.

AMARE IS THE WEAKEST NBA PLAYER EVER!

A month ago, we saw how Amare Stoudemire went flying in for a dunk that nearly tore off a ring, get brushed by an unknown third string PG and go flying into the bleachers, drawing the technical foul.

That move seems to be part of Amare's weapons nowadays as he brings it out against the "hulking" Derek Fisher.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE A GIRL GRACED THESE CYBER-PAGES...

So let's take a look at volleyball hottie Rachel Anne Daquis! Hay!

TURKOGLU'S THE MAN!

Dwight Howard may be Superman...but Hedo Turkoglu has been responsible for more game winners in the last 2 seasons than Superman's had in his entire career! 

Guess now we know who's the go-to-guy of this team really is.

MAN CRUSH GONE WILD.

Every basketball fan has had a man crush on a particular player. For most, it revolves around players named Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, Kobe Bryant or Lebron James (or Sonny Jaworski, Alvin Patrimonio, Johnny Abbarientos or Benji Paras).

To those interested, my man crushes are Scottie Pippen and Nelson Asaytono, plus Gabe Norwood.

But there is a limit to man crushes...and this guy definitely crossed the line.

DWAYNE WADE POSTERIZES EMEKA OKAFOR!

DWade showing everyone how it's done.

WHY DO TEAMS NEED A GO TO GUY?

This is why teams need a go to guy (check 1:58 on the clip). 

Because when the game is on the line, when you have 3 seconds left to play , you got to have someone ready and willing to be a goat or a hero. 

THAT WAS A CONFRONTATION?

If Bill Laimbeer saw that, he would have taken on both teams at the same time and kicked both their asses to kingdom come.

THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASKETBALL!

Much like Tom Hanks shouting at his female players in the movie "A League of Their Own", I find myself screaming at Glen "Big Baby" Davis upon chancing on this clip.

The Celtics were up by 25pts when Big Baby and the Celts second unit came to play. They promptly gave up points like aortic blood spurting when Doc Rivers called a timeout. 

KG chewed out the second unit, grabbing Big Baby by the arm and pouring scorn and disdain on them. Big Baby walked out of the huddle, whined to Gabe Pruitt and fought back tears at the end of the bench.

BEN GORDON IS THE NEW MUTOMBO?

When an athletic 6'6" PG comes barreling down the lane, what does a 6'1" SG whose specialty is shooting the jumper do?

He makes the same play shotblocking machine Dikembe Mutombo always did.

BEING RIGHT ABOUT PACQUIAO

KO? Check.

Later round? Double check.

Complete and total dominance? Uhm...sorry, didn't catch that one.

When Manny Pacquiao started out by flicking jabs and left straights at de la Hoya right in the very first round, my first thought was "Oh shit, dance around Manyy, tire him out, don't go toe to toe, not just yet!")

But then, I noticed one other thing. De la Hoya couldn't hit Pacquiao at all. The slick moving, quick dancing, weaving and bobbing Pacquiao turned the Golden Boy into a turnstile which just kept going  around and around and around.

And when Pacquiao pummeled a cut into de la Hoya's nose int he 2nd and closed Golden Boy's left eye in the 6th, I knew it was a matter of only time until I was proven right.

The main bone of contention now seems to be: if you were de la Hoya, would you have cried "No mas" or would you have gone down swinging?

SHAQ SEES THE FUTURE OF BASKETBALL!

TRANSFORM-YAO!

How big is Yao Ming?

So big he has his own Transformer action figure.

WHEN YOU HAVE KOBE BRYANT, PAU GASOL...

...Andrew Bynum, Lamar Odom, Phil Jackson, Jack Nicholson, the Laker girls and a 15point lead at the end of the third quarter, what are the chances that a Pacers team, which has lost 5 of its last 6 games, including the last two at home, can come back with a tip in to win the game?

Zero? Negative one?

I guess impossible really is nothing.

PACQUIAO-DE LA HOYA FEARLESS FORECAST!

I've kept my mouth shut the past month, reading up on all things Pacquiao and de la Hoya.

And now, I'm ready to make my prediction.

Pacquiao by split decision or late KO.

Pacquiao has gotten bigger, stronger and more chiseled without seemingly losing any of his trademark speed.

He's also acutely aware that the eyes of an entire nation is glued on his every move and that his legacy can be cemented by this one fight.

De La Hoya, on the other hand, had to reinvent himself to prepare for this fight. He's doing things he's never done before in an effort to counter what he perceives to be Pacquiao's strength, including doing a Rocky 4 (moving to austere conditions where he pitted himself against the elements, so to speak).

But will it be enough? I don't think so. I think de la Hoya will make the mistake of thinking he's still the same dominant fighter he was 5 years ago. By trying to dominate Pacquiao from the get-go, de la Hoya will lose steam and become vulnerable in the latter rounds. 

What Pacquiao has to do is refuse to play along and dance away in the first 4 rounds. De la Hoya made a prediction that he will knock Pacquaio out by the 4th round and he will use up energy to do so. By dancing away, Pacquiao can frustrate de la Hoya and cause him to expend his energy.

So that's the way I see it. Pacquiao by split decision or late KO.

To the Pambansang Kamao, mabuhay ka!

THE SPANISH CONNECTION!

Just look at these Spanish conquistadores showing the world how to connect!

ANOTHER SUPER PLAY FROM THE SUPER ROOKIE!

Derrick Rose plays catch up and blocks Andre Miller from behind.

SUPER ROOKIE DERRICK ROSE BREAKS MILLER'S ANKLES!

Derrick Rose has also been named as the Eastern Conference's Rookie of the Month.

LEBRONS PLAYS A LIL DEFENSE...

...on rising NBA PG Ramon Sessions, an outstanding call up from the D-League.

Guess the D-League doesn't have LBJ-type defenders.

WHEN YOU ALLEY-OOP TO YOURSELF...

...isn't that traveling?

Well, the refs let it go and so, David Lee gets the play of the day.

LEBRON'S NEW NIKE TVC.

Personally, I don't get it. But hey, it's Lebron.

HE SHOOTS, HE SCORES!

This is idiot-ball.

Don't try this at home, kids.

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BASKETBALL LOVE: ISN'T IT GREAT!

Noah wants the ball.

What does Gooden want?

Sweeter the second time around?

BUZZER BEATING BULLS!

Super rookie Derrick Rose keeps the Bulls close until unlikely hero Larry Hughes seals the deal with a buzzer beater.

WHO'S AFRAID OF BEARS?

Everyone is! Except for a little girl who crushed his bear-sticles. 

And a bald man who popped him one on the ear.

ANOTHER BONEHEAD PLAY!

I can make this lay up. You can make this lay up. Heck, my 10 year old son can make this lay up.

So why can't a man being paid millions of dollars a year make this lay up?

ARIZA VS VUJAVIC!

There's nothing like a home victory to cement the bond between teammates, forge a closeness that is almost as thick as blood, meld them together like...Wait. 

What the hell are Ariza and Vujavic doing in the middle of a Lakers victory over the Bulls?

Lover's quarrel, anyone? 

AIR TENNIS?

Yes, this is really a tennis court way up here.

And yes, it can be found in Dubai, the city where people are so rich they come up with ridiculous ideas to spend money on.

Look, they even bought Roger Federer.

SMALLEST BODY BUILDER IN THE WORLD!

He's Aditya "Romeo" Dev, he's 2 feet 9 inches tall and he weighs 20 pounds. 

Ten bucks says he can bench press more than you, though.

THE AMAZING RACE VIDEO!

Warning: No sports content below!

Earlier this year, Alexa and I sent in a application to the Amazing Race Asia producers. Unfortunately, neither of us were models/actors/celebrities so we never made it to Singapore.

However, I am damn proud of our audition video.

So here's to all those who tried to join but weren't celebrity enough to make it.

DRIBBLE ME CRAZY.

This guy is awesome.

YOU CAN SCORE WITH YOUR SHORTS DOWN?

Not that kind of score, you lusty animal!

In a Seria A league game between Torino and Catania, Catania players dropped their shorts to shield their teammate who was about to take a free kick from the Torino goalie.

The end result? 

A goal for Catania and a 3-2 victory for them.

SUPERSTARS ALWAYS GET THE CALLS.

Promising young center Andrew Bogut goes up with a shot. Superstar and NBA champion Kevin Garnett fouls him hard. 

Young Bogut's arms accidentally hit Garnett's face. Garnett lashes out, slapping Bogut with an open fist.

Bogut is assessed a technical foul and is tossed out of the game. Garnett plays on. Celtics win over Bucks.

Yes, it's true, superstars always get the calls.

BASKETBALL ISN'T ALL STRAWBERRIES AND CREAM...

...or "70million over 5 years" contracts or buxomy groupies in over 30 cities. 

It's also about trying to keep a 7'2" behemoth from killing you.

NBA.COM IN ESPANOL?

Certainly could have fooled me!

But yes, the Mavs do dominante the Knicks.

MICHAEL JORDAN LOSES TO CEO IN A 1-ON-1 GAME!

Not a hoax. Not a trick. Not an ad. It's the real thing.

Michale Jordan hosts a camp for CEO's, actors and other wealthy people who have enough dough to play with Jordan himself, instead of just playing Jordan on their PS3's.

In one such camp a couple of years ago, a mutual fund CEO beat him in a game of 1-on-1. Jordan wasn't playing serious but he wasn't throwing the game away either.

It's a hell of a game, the kind which makes us all believe that anything is possible.

  

FINALLY, BARGNANI!

Andrea Bargnani was the first European drafted #1. In the 3 or so years since then, he has been labeled soft, "Europeanish" and a "bust".

A highlight dunk like this reminds you of why he was drafted #1.

IM CONFUSED!

I'm pretty sure it's just the 3rd week of the season and yet...why are tempers flaring, tension running high and fights breaking out?

Take this Rockets-Suns game. I know they have a history but come on! It's the third week!

FRANZ REICHELT JUMPS!

This is what happened.

ONE OF THE FIRST EVER BASE JUMPING ATTEMPTS IN HISTORY.

Franz Reichelt, a tailor by profession, invented an outfit which would allow a person to float safely down from a building. 

In 1912, he set out to test his invention by jumping from the Eiffel Tower.

Can you guess what happened?

AND ON ELECTION DAY...

Obama had a good game eclipsed only by his landslide presidential victory.

As reported by CNN.

BARACK-KETBALL!

USA President-elect Barack Obama sure has game!

WEIRD SPORTS: SWISS STYLE

Hornussen is a Swiss team sport where one team bats a rubber disc into the field and the other team tries to hit it with their...placards.

Think of it as baseball meets cricket meets golf meets Swiss cheese.

I KNOW THE MAVS ARE PLAYING BAD BUT...

...butt this is a bit too much.

Dirk Nowitzki goes for the loose ball and lands on a four year old who will forever be traumatized by the sight of a 7-footer's butt.

What's your funny line? 

WHAT'S HE LOOKING AT?

Best line wins 10 pesos...postdated check...for january 2011.

Write it in! 

RP WOMEN U-18 TEAM AT TOP OF THE HEAP!

We've been hungry for a chance to show off our basketball skills at the world division 1 level. Could we finally be getting a chance?

Operating under the radar are the Xtreme-RP Under-18 Women's team, who notched their third straight victory by beating Singapore 68-50.

Earlier in the week, the RP basketbelles beat Thailand and Hong Kong to set up a titanic match up with the equally unbeaten Kazakhstan Team. The Pinays and the Kazakhs fight for a better spot as the top two finishers of the FIBA Level II competitions get to play for a spot in Level I against the bottom two finishers of Level I.

Good luck ladies! 

REMEMBER JOSH CHILDRESS?

Yes, the former Atlanta Hawks swingman who spurned the 20M over 5 years offer of Atlanta and signed for 20M over 3 years TAX FREE fro Olympiacos?

Well, here he is, strutting his stuff in the Euroleague.

HE'S GOT 3 BALLS IN HIS HAND!

Chirs Duhon's thought bubble: Damn! Now if only you were a girl.

What's your catchy line?

HOW TO GO FROM HULK TO WIMP IN 1 SECOND.

When you're as big, as muscled and as ferocious as Amare can be after a monstrous dunk, doing something like this is really, really annoying. Really.

CAN SHAQ OUTJUMP KOBE?

"Shaq" tries to outdo Kobe once again!

STEVE NASH ROCKS IN MORE THAN JUST BASKETBALL!

Steve Nash is among the top 3 NBA point guards and among the top 10 NBA players.

But he can beat all of their asses when it comes to a sports triathlon of basketball, soccer and skateboarding. 

HOW ARE THE HAWKS DOING THIS?

Yes, the Atlanta Hawks have won again, this time, against one of the most formidable teams from the West!

The New Orleans Hornets came in with a perfect record and were scorched from rainbow land by the looking-ever-so-good Hawks, who buried 12 3pointers.

Joe Johnson led the Hawks with 24 points while Chris Paul led the Hornets with 22 points and 11 assists.

WHAT'S HE REACHING FOR?

Best answer wins a hug from the Pat Balo/ Sportster/ The Bench Warmer reader-follower-fan of their choice.

QUICK HITS IN THE NBA'S FIRST WEEK!

SURPRISES:

ATLANTA HAWKS. 2-0 already, lording it over fancied teams like the Magic (2-2) and the Heat (1-2). Josh Smith and Joe Johnson have been turning it on but for how long can they keep this up?

MARK GASOL. For four years, the younger Gasol labored in Europe with comments like "plodding", "not as skilled", "a lesser talent" when compared to big brother Pau. Mark stepped out of Pau's shadow in the Olympics and, in the Grizz's first four games, has managed to become the more talked-about Gasol. He logged in three solid games as the Grizz starting center before totally demolishing the Golden State Warriors with 27 points in 9-16 shooting, 16 rebounds, 3 blocked shots and a win over the Warriors ending a 7 game skid to them.

MIAMI HEAT. Wade was pure gold in the Olympics. Beasely is an offensive beast. Marion is a defensive stud. So why are they 1-2?

SPURS. Is Manu Ginobili this important to the Spurs basketball machine? The Spurs have now gone 0-3, their first such start since 1973. If they go 0-4, they'll tie their worst ever start which came when they were still in the ABA. 

NON-SURPRISES:

LAKERS ON TOP. They already had Kobe, Pau and Odom when they made their Finals run. Now, young Andrew Bynum has returned and seems to be well on the path to full recovery. How much better can these Lakers get?

DERRICK ROSE. Every thought that this young man would be a very special player somewhere down the road. The good news is he's a very special player, just four games into hi NBA career. This early, he has become the starter, led the team in scoring and assists and looks to have adjusted to the NBA pace.

KNICKS AT THE BOTTOM. I know a coach is important but how could anyone expect the '05 Phoenix Suns to emerge from the '08 Knicks? With practically no new players and some 08 starters banished (Curry, Marbury), D'Antoni will have to do a David Copperfield and pull out some unexpected victories over tough division rivals to avoid languishing in their familiar spot: last place.

THE ANSWER TO DETROIT'S WOES?

Yes, Allen Iverson, aka "The Answer" will be revving up Motor Town. But at what price?

Pretty steep, with Chauncey "Mr. Big Shot" Billups, Antonio "Dice" McDyess and Cheikh "Not Good Enough To Have A Nickname" Samb going to Denver.

What do the Pistons get? A tough, quick, still prolific but on-the-way-out scorer and future Hall of Famer who has never taken a shot he didn't like, including 3 point, stop-and-pop, falling-out-of-bounds, fadeaway jumpers.

What do they lose? Defense. Poise. A point guard, for Pete's sake! AI is a strictly shoot-first guard, and those who have Richard Hamilton on their fantasy basketball rosters would do well to stat picking up back up SG's.

What do the Nuggets get? A true point guard who is tough, unselfish, poised and has ice in his veins. Also, their backcourt gains instant credibility at the defensive end.

What do they lose? Instant, streaky, unstoppable offense. Chauncey is a predator, scoring when most needed and when the opportunity arises. AI scored whenever he wanted to. All you could do was try to get in his way and hope he missed.

Winner of the trade: Denver. Look for Nene to flourish and Kenyon Martin to regain his All-Star form (you know, the form he lost when Jason Kidd was no longer his point guard). AI will make Detroit marginally better on offense but Billups will make the Nuggets better on both sides of the ball.

WHEN YOU'RE 7FEET AND SIX INCHES TALL...

...is this still supposed to happen to you?

NBA LOVE!

The NBA is all about love. Here's proof!

Huggy-wuggy!

Ouch! Hand me the lubricant, damn it!

POP TRUMPS SHAQ!

A couple of days ago, Shaq went on record saying the Spurs were "cowards" for employing the Hack-A-Shaq even when they were leading. The Hack-A-Shaq is when players foul Shaq and force him to shoot freethrows, banking on the fact that Shaq hits only about half of them (and sometimes less than that).

How did the Spurs react? Well, 5 seconds into the first game of the season, Pop showed Shaq what his...humor...tastes like.

PS There's a poll on my blog sportsfandom.blogspot.com. Do vote! Thanks!

SOME OBSERVATIONS...

After day 2 of the NBA season:

HOW DID THEY DO IT? We saw how the new and improved Dwayne Wade made the Olympics his own personal playground. We've read how Michael Beasely has about a 40% chance of winning Rookie of the Year. We know Shawn Marion is one of the most versatile defenders in the league. We also know that the Knicks are dysfunctional, over paid, overhyped and have a new coach and a new GM. Their starting center and point guard from last year aren't even in the rotation.  So how in the hell did the Knicks beat the Heat?

THERE'S A NEW BIG THREE IN TOWN and they are from the Rockets. Yes, I saw how good the troika of Yao Ming, T-Mac and Artest can be and they are going to go deep in the playoffs, maybe even reach the Conference Finals. What scares me even more is that once they get Battier back, they can lock down the best SG's and SF's in the league from minute 1.

THE LAKERS ARE FOR REAL. That's two blowout games for you. Kobe hasn't even heated up yet. Pau, Bynum, Fisher and the rest of the gang have stepped up early. Trevor Ariza looks like he's going to be a monster this year and Chris Mihm looked good, making other teams even more wary of the surprisingly deep Lakers.

IM SURE NO ONE REALLY CARES BUT...

Philadelphia Phillies win the MLB World Series, 4-3 over the Tampa Bay Rays!

It took 45 more hours than they expected (rain delays pushed the game back by about two whole days) but the Phillies don't seem to care. They're too busy drinking themselves silly aft bringing a World Series crown back to the city of Brotherly Love after 28 long years.

Congrats, Philadelphia!

 

ANSWERS TO YESTERDAY'S QUESTIONS

The Beast of the East remains to be the defending champions. KG and Ray Allen had a bad game but Paul Pierce took over with 27pts and Lebron missed a layup and 2 free throws in the last minute to seal the Cav's fate. Celtics win by 5pts.

The premier big man of the future? Neither Bynum nor Oden, if we go by this game. Bynum logged 8 points and three rebounds, Oden had 5 rebounds, blocked a shot and missed his four free throw attempts before getting injured. Yes, again.

Bulls versus Skiles. Winner, Bulls. Derrick Rose had 11 points and 9 assists, Deng had 21 pts, Gordon had 18, Hinrich had 15pts, Tyrus Thomas had 15 pts and 10 rebounds. Bulls win by 13pts, Skiles loses 100 strands of hair.  

NBA OPENING DAY!

Tomorrow we start another season of the NBA. Here are three key things you can expect to see tomorrow.

1) WHO IS REALLY THE BEAST IN THE EAST? Cleveland goes to Boston in a bid to kick start their championship campaign. The Cavs need to go back to the Finals to have any hopes of keeping LBJ. If they don't, expect the King to start listing down which players he wants to play with in NJ. For Boston, it's all about hunger. Many have said age and the satisfaction of finally winning a ring have dulled the edge of the Celtics' desire. Now, their mission is to prove they can do it again.

2) WHO IS THE BIG MAN OF THE FUTURE? Dwight Howard and Chris bosh reign supreme today. In 3 or four more years, either Greg Oden or Andrew Bynum will be the Hulk of the NBA. That road starts tomorrow, as post surgery Bynum takes on post surgery Oden. Oh yeah, they might also break their brittle knees (again!) in the next two  or three years which would make LaMarcus Aldrige and Marc Gasol the big men of the future.

3) BULLISH OR BUCK-ISH? Maybe we should call the game the Bulls versus Skiles. Bucks coach Scott Skiles brought the Bulls back to playoff respectability after years of futility. He also drafted, recruited and traded for 90% of the current Bulls lineup. But last year's team imploded, set off by the selfishness of key players (yes, I'm talking about Deng, Gordon and Ben Wallace). Now, Skiles is back, trying to resurrect a Bucks team that has offensive firepower but has more holes that a cheese grater. The Bulls players are trying to prove that last year was Skiles' fault and not theirs. Motivation on both sides to one up the other is at an all time high.

PROPS TO: Andres Nocioni. Goes up to Skiles and assistant coach Jim Boylan and gives them a hug. Plasters Richard Jefferson for knocking super rookie Derrick Rose out of the game.

BOOS TO: Deng, Gordon. Deng and Gordon are out with toe injuries. Toe injuries, fer Gawd's sake! Gordon's toe injury has kept him sidelined for more than 2 weeks now. Cut it off, Ben, and start shooting. That way, we can trade you by January.

KOBE, A-ROD, PHELPS AND HAWK ARE HEROES!

Guitar heroes, that is.

This is a sporting coup by Activision, putting together a band made up of NY Yankee All Star first baseman Alex Rodriguez, 8 Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps, skateboarding legend Tony Hawk and NBA MVP Kobe Bryant. 

I can just hear Kobe say "How does this taste, Shaq?"

NBA PREDICTIONS!

We've got 2 days to go before the NBA season opens so it's time to lay my proverbial eggs in a prophetic basket and say the sooth!

And so, here are my picks for:

Rookie of the Year - O.J. Mayo. Yes, I know, the safe choice seems to be Greg Oden, Michael Beasley or Derrick Rose. Now, while I think that  Oden is a future Hall-of-Famer and Beasley and Rose will be perennial All Stars, they will all be laboring under the wings of more established stars (Wade, Roy, Aldrige, Haslem, Deng, Gordon). My pick has the chance to be The Man (albeit of the Grizz),  right in his very first year. 

Sixth Man of the Year - Manu Ginobili. There's no better 6th man in the league as the unselfish Argentine would probably start for the 29 other teams in the league...but prefers to play his "spark of the bench" role to perfection. If current team rotations hold true to form, he'll face tough challenges from Andrei Kirilenko and Kirk Hinrich.

Coach of the Year - Jerry Sloan. While people look at New Orleans as a possible Finals contender, I cast a wary eye on the Jazz. Sloan will have this crew ready to rock and roll and Williams, Boozer, Kirilenko, Okur, Brewer, Millsap and Korver will make believers out of pundits.

MVP - Lebron James. Only because I feel like everyone is thinking he should get one already. There are too many people saying the same thing, which makes me wonder is the voting is already done and over with.

Eastern Champion - Celtics. I know the Big Three are old but they've got young guys who are way good and KG, The Truth and Jesus Shuttlesworth may have developed a hankering for the taste of championships.

Western Champion - Lakers. Bynum is back. You mean aside from Kobe, Pau and Odom, the Lakers also welcome back Bynum the behemoth? Rockets and Jazz have a chance against the Laker Machine. Hornets and Spurs will crumble earlier than anyone else thought.

NBA Champion - Lakers. I don't like it anymore than half the world does but the fact is, on a purely basketball world, I'd take Kobe, Pau, Odom, Bynum, Fisher, Radmanovic and Vujavic over KG, Pierce, Ray Allen, Rondo, Perkins, Powe and Davis.

Team I will be following - Bulls. I'm a Nocioni freak and Captain Kirk is also a favorite of mine. Here's hoping they make it to the second round where they can be shown the door by the Cavs.

THINK TUG-O-WAR IS A PARLOR GAME?

Welcome to the world championships of Tug-o-war!

THE COOLEST BALL GAME IN THE WORLD!

It's Bossa Ball!

It's a combination of volleyball, football, gymnastics, capoiera and is played on an inflatable court. What's not to love?

Oh, by the way, this is a real sport. It was invented in Belgium and is played in schools and clubs all over Brazil. They even have a summer tournament. Must be all that coffee.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN TROUBLE WHEN...

...this is how ESPN.com describes you

.

YOU WANT WEIRD?

How about a ref tackling a quarterback?

Wilbur Hackett used to be a lineman 20 years ago. Guess he had a flashback moment. 

Oh, and watch the QB's expression. He looks up after the hit and says "WTF, man!"

WEIRDEST SPORTS EVER!

Shin Kicking! Seriously. This is one of the most anticipated events in the 400year old Cotwold Games, in merry old England.

Very basic rules, really. It's a best of three match. You earn a point when your opponent falls down as a result of you kicking the shit out of his shin.

Think I'm joking? Watch this.

THEY'RE BACK!

The Shakey's V-League has officially begun. You know what that means.

Jump serves. Big blocks. Game saving digs. Booming spikes. Killer rallies. Explo...who am I kidding? 

What it really mean is more court and TV time for...

Rachel Ann Daquis. Denise Tan. MJ Pepito. Charo Soriano.

You go, girls!

IS THE GUY BEHIND STEVE NASH CHECKING HIM OUT?

I swear to God, the guy behind Steve Nash just undressed him with his eyes.

BASKETBALL IS HELL ON THE FAMILY JEWELS 3

I'm not sure if this is painful or funny.

BASKETBALL IS HELL ON THE FAMILY JEWELS 2

Reggie Evans, basically, reached from behind Chris Kaman, grabbed his nuts and tried to rip them out (Kaman's words, not mine).

BASKETBALL IS HELL ON THE FAMILY JEWELS.

WONDER WHERE KOBE GOT HIS HOPS?

Joe "Jumping JellyBean" Bryant posterizes Kareem Abdul Jabbar.

GETTING HUSTLED!

Devin Harris is the starting PG for the New Nets, good enough to be traded for All Star Jason Kidd.

Well, the Nets might want to sign up this "anonymous" Brit baller who totally schooled Harris.

Of course, it turns out, later on, that this Brit guy, Stuart Tanner, is a playground legend. Still, makes you realize dreams can come true.

DJANGO, ORCOLLO CLOSES IN ON POOL CROWN

"The road to the 2008 PartyPoker.net World Cup of Pool crown goes through us."

This was the chilling message that Django Bustamante and Dennis Orcollo sent out to the remaining three teams in the semifinal round after the Pinoy pair dismantled the Asian Games champions from Japan by a score of 9-2.

This marked the third time Bustamante and Orcollo have won in such overwhelming fashion, first crushing Denmark by a score of 9-2 then destroying Russia by a score of 9-3.

The second seeded pair now face the American duo of Shane Van boening and Rodney Morriswhile top seed China battles 5th seed England.

THIS IS WHY WE WANT TO BE BASKETBALL PLAYERS

Because basketball players (especially newly drafted NBA players) get girls like this one.

He's Sun Yue, a young phenom touted as China's "Magic". She's Gu Chen, an uber-hot Chinese model. 

Man, if they ever have a daughter, I'm gonna marry her.

    

KEVIN LOVE HITS FROM BEYOND!

Quarter court, half court, full court...Doesn't matter to Kevin Love, he's gonna hit it!

KEVIN LOVE IS THE KING OF TRICK SHOTS!

Is this real? Could be. 

It is, however, much better than the Lebron "miracle shots" clip that appeared a year ago.  I mean, how the hell could LBJ be swishing those shots with amazing regularity when he didn't even have a consistent jumper in his first 3 years in the NBA?

Love, though, looks like the real thing. Here's one of his clips.

MICHAEL JORDAN WOWS PORN STAR IN BED!

Seriously. Listen to this interview of Kylie Ireland, a former stripper and current porn star, who made a porn flick loosely based on her one night stand with Michael Jordan entitled "Face Jam".

Listen and weep, all you wannabe NBA-ers!

AND SHE CAN DUNK TOO!

CANDACE PARKER IS WNBA MVP & ROY!

She's young but she routinely and thoroughly outplays stars 5-10 years older.

She's big but she outruns and outdribbles most WNBA point guards.

She's pretty but she outrebounds and outmuscles heftier and more, ehem, "masculine" players.

She's 22 year old Candace Parker, the LA Sparks' prized rookie, who has just made history by being the first WNBA player to win both the Rookie of the Year Award as well as the Most Valuable Player award in the same season.

Of course, her offseason goal was to win the WNBA championship and that isn't gonna happen...Still the ROY and MVP awards are pretty good consolation prizes.

THE DIRTY FINGER

Thee past few days, I've tried to stay away from mentioning any and all Ateneo-La Salle related issues/topics because I feel that both groups have gone way, way overboard on these issues.

But I can't stay quiet on this one. I really, really need an explanation.

ATENEO EAGLES UAAP CHAMPS!

There are going to be a million and one articles about Game two of the UAAP. I'm sure you guys will get your fill.

For me, I'll just point out the top 5 reasons why Ateneo won over La Salle.

1) Chris Tiu came back to play. After scoring just two points in Game 1, Tiu made sure his last game as an Eagle came with a championship ring. His 15+ points against an resolute Archer defense underscored the heart and determination of this young man (who appears clothed in an underwear ad. Go figure)

2) Maierhofer lost it. Did he flip someone (or simply flip out). Whatever the reason, La Salle was doomed when Maierhofer was ejected from the game. There simply was no other offensive weapon left for La Salle (aside from Casio)

3) Casio got tired. You've got to hand it to Casio, he never gave up. but basketball is a team sport and 1 man never, ever beat a team.

4) Rabeh Al-Hussaini, Nonoy Baclao and Ryan Buenafe were simply too much. Maierhofer was the only one who had any chance against these three and he buckled under the Atenean pressure plus the fact that Mangahas, Barua and Ferdinand couldn't take up the cudgels for him.

5) Ateneo has a better program in place. This championship was the product of Atenean basketball efforts started back in 2002. When you realize that Buenafe has about 3-4 more years of eligibility left, you simply have to marvel at the Ateneo basketball program and admit that their future has already arrived. For La Salle, I don't see any budding stars among the younger players, which may lead to a collapse of the La Salle basketball empire.

That being said, congratulations to the Ateneo Blue Eagles!

QUESTIONS FOR GAME 2 OF THE UAAP CHAMPIONSHIPS

Here are some pressing questions for today's Game 2 versus La Salle and Ateneo...

1) Can Chris Tiu and Eric Salamat regain their form in time to give Ateneo the championship?

2) Will Nonoy Bacalao start in the place of the ineffective Baldos?

3) Is it time for Maierhofer to start the game for the Archers, to neautralize MVP Al-Hussaini?

4) Can JV Casio start hitting three pointers consistently?

5) Will Ryan Buenafe dominate the La Salle frontline again?

6) Can Mangahas and Barua match the intensity of the Ateneo frontline?

7) Can the La Salle guards stop fouling incessantly?

8) Will Jai Reyes continue playing like a young LA Tenorio?

9) Will there be a fistfight in the game?

10) Will Franz Pumaren resign if La Salle loses today?

WHY LA SALLE LOST

We've gone through the different reasons why Ateneo won...now we go on to why La Salle lost.

1) JV Casio. I know JV Casio topscored for La Salle with 20 pts but his shooting percentage hovered around 30% (I think he shot something like 7-24). When your leading scorer is throwing up bricks (and JV missed some extremely open shots, especially from 3 point range), you find yourself relying on other people who aren't used to being a focal point of the offense for long stetches. Maierhofer had a really efficient game, scoring 16pts and cornering 14 rebounds but we all know that where JV goes, La Salle goes.

2) Too many blown easy shots. The ring simply hated anything green last Sunday. I guarantee you, you will never see another game as frustrating for the Archers as Game 1 of the UAAP Finals. How many times this season did Casio miss layups after a great move? Less than the number of times he missed last Sunday. Maierhofer should have had at least 4 more buckets on putbacks that rolled around the ring before droppping into the hands of an Atenean defender. Everywhere I looked, there were Archers missing lay ups, putbacks, even short jumpers...Had they made those, they would have led from the first quarter onward.

3) The Lost Guards. Where the hell were Malabes, Atkins and Revilla? With Chris Tiu out on fouls, La Salle had an opportunity to run away with the game. Instead, La Salle's three guards were outplayed by Jai Reyes...alone (and Jai Reyes isn't exactly what you would call a dominant guard). At times, it felt like a 4 on 5 game, with the La Salle guards just standing around, waiting to do the next thing on this list.

4) Too many unnecessary (and stupid) fouls. Sure, the La Salle press forced Ateneo into 15 turnovers in the first half alone (which is already Ateneo's average in a game). But for every time the Archers forced a turnover, there where 2 other times when they fouled an Atenean who was worlds away from making a play. Just how bad was it? La Salle was in the penalty midway through the first and second quarters. In the third quarter, La Salle was in the penalty after just three minutes! Taking into consideration the fact that each team had 24seconds, this means La Salle fouled Ateneo every time they took the ball downcourt. And these weren't fouls on drives, postups or slashing plays. These were fouls on ball carriers who weren't even in the position to initiate a play. These bonehead plays were responsible for a lot of Ateneo points, which, if we subrtract them from the total score, would have probably given La Salle a comfortable lead.

5) Cold outside shooting. We've talked about Casio's 30% shooting percentage and the unfortunate shrinking of the ring for post players. We compound it with the fact that, midway through the fourth quarter, La Salle has shot just 2-17 from beyond the 3 point line. That's barely 15%! If you can't hit from outside, don't keep hoisting it up. Charge in and try to get an easier shot. At the very least, try to get a foul. But the La Salle ineefectiveness from rainbow land was so evident that the Ateneo big men (and even their small men) just set up camp in the painted area and waited for rebounds off La Salle misses. 

Fortunately for La Salle, none of these factors are permanent. Casio can regain his shooting touch. Maierhofer, Barua and Mangahas can start hitting from the inside. Malabes, Atkins and Revilla can be big factors on defense. The question is, can they be all these in time for Game 2?

THE CHRIS TIU FOULS

Many people (fine, fine, one person) demanded an explanation for the three fouls of Chris Tiu that sent him into exile for most of Game 1. Here's a quick analysis:

Foul #1. Rico Maierhofer hauls down a defensive rebound. Everybody runs down the opposite end of the court. Tiu, coming from behind Maierhofer, decides to take a swipe at the ball. Foul called. Foul or not? Definitely a foul. What's worse, it's one of the most useless kinds of fouls. Why? Because it's the first quarter, there was no fastbreak attempt, Maierhofer was aware of where Tiu was, no other Atenean was there to back Tiu up in case he poked the ball away and Black did not call for an Ateneo press. This means Tiu was simlpy freelancing, trying to earn pogi points to the detriment of his team.

Foul #2. Tiu barrels down the lane on a fastbreak opportunity. Maierhofer steps in his way. Charging called on Tiu. Foul or not? Close call. Refs said charging. I thought Maierhofer didn't have his feet set yet. Also, ,in the replays, it seemed like he was moving forward, still in the motion of stepping into Tiu's path. My opinion: should have been a blocking foul on Maierhofer but couldn't blame the refs for making charging call.

Tiu goes out. Comes back much, much later.

Foul #3. Inbounds play. A La Salle guard (Atkins, I think) lliterally inside Tiu's shirt. Tiu fakes right then goes left. Atkins goes for the fake, tries to reverse himself. Tiu and Atkins get entangled. Tiu lifts a forearm right into Atkins' neck and pushes him away. Foul called. Foul or not? Definitely a foul but a good aggressive foul. It's a foul borne out of determination and aggression, one that showed Tiu's passion. Still, it was a definite foul.

Tiu sits for a long, long time as Ateneo proved they were Rabeh Al-Hussaini's team already and not Chris Tiu's.

WHY THE EAGLES WON

By this time, you must have watched, read or had the Ateneo victory described to you in detail. I will not add to the legion of sports recappers and, instead, will focus on analyzing key facets of the game. 

The sheer amount of things to talk about is gargantuan, therefore, I will make this a 3-part blog.

First we take on the winning Ateneo side.

WHY ATENEO WON

1) Rabeh Al-Hussaini - If there were any doubts about this guy's MVP worthiness, it got erased by his masterful Game 1 performance, logging in 31 points and 8 rebounds. Al-Hussaini started out rather tentatively, betraying jittery nerves as he shot just 1-5 in the first quarter, missing the mid range jumpers he would later on hit with amazing regularity. I don't know what coach Norman Black said to him but as soon as Al-Hussaini stepped on to the court in the third quarter, he stamped his class all over the La Salle interior defense. The ferocity he showed right from the start of the 3rd quarter got his teammates fired up, leading to a 12-0 run that La Salle never recovered from. 

2) Ryan Buenafe - He's a rookie playing in his first UAAP championships as part of the most explosive and bitter rivalry in the history of Philippine collegiate basketball. Everyone would understand and forgive him if he succumbed to the pressure of the big game. Instead, Ryan Buenafe scores Ateneo's first 2 points, grabs an offensive rebound and dishes out to Al-Hussaini for an uncontested lay up, has 7 of Ateneo's 11 points with time running out in the first quarter, almost has a double double by the half (10pts, 8 rebs) and plays like a heady veteran in crunch time. A lot of basketball pundits were surprised to see Buenafe starting but I think Buenafe has certainly made his case. And yes, Rookie of the year is a foregone conclusion.

3) Nonoy Baclao - 7 blocks. Including two momentum breaking blocks on La Salle big men Rico Maierhofer and James Managahas. Baclao forced Maierhofer into a traveling violation after he stuffed the ball back into Maierhofer's face and he sent Mangahas crashing to the deck and the ball into Archer territory with a swat that would have done Dennis Rodman proud. Had either Maierhofer or Managhas made their shots, La Salle would have been in striking distance once again.  Any kind of momentum would have propelled the Archers past the Eagles. But instead, Baclao's blocks resulted into 2 La Salle turnovers and an 8 point swing (4 La Salle points gone with the block and 4 points on the ensuing Ateneo possession, courtesy of Al-Hussaini). 

4) Team Maturity -  La Salle forced Ateneo into 15 first half turnovers, their average per game. Ateneo barely even flinched. La Salle took its first lead on a Casio 3 point play. Ateneo immediately took it back. La Salle hacked and fouled at every opportunity. Ateneo canned their free throws calmly. In the end, La Salle's frantic, frenetic energy was not enough to shake Atenean composure...which is why Ateneo ended up on top.

5) Unselfishness and Team Play - There are several reasons why Al-Hussaini ended up with 31 points...and those reasons are named Buenafe, Reyes, Salamat and Tiu. These guys penetrated, dished out, bounced off and did everything humanly possible to get Al-Hussaini in the best position to succeed...and Al-Hussaini's success was their success.

Next up, why La Salle lost...

HOTTIE FROM UST

Ayaw mo yung isa? Eh yung best friend nya, ayaw mo din?

Denise Tan, UST setter and Rachel Anne Daquis' best friend.

VOLLEYBALL HOTTIE HIGHLIGHTS

There's a pest on the boards looking for a hottie athlete. To sate his maniacal appetites, I offer this.

A collection of Rachel Ann Daquis clips from an FEU-Adamson game from about a year ago. 

Enjoy, Louie!

LA SALLE VS ATENEO: A FEARLESS FORECAST

Three hours. That's how long tickets for Game 1 of the UAAP basketball championship series between Ateneo-La Salle were available.

Seven thousand pesos. That's how expensive tickets for the match of the year became.

Here are five key match ups that can spell the difference between sweet victory and a year of "what ifs".

STARS. Ateneo has two in veteran Chris Tiu and rising star Rabeh Al-Hussaini. La Salle also has two in veterans JV Casio and Rico Maierhofer. Both pairs give roughly the same in points, rebounds and defense. My take? A tie.

DEFENSIVE PRESENCE. Ateneo has shot blocking Nonoy Baclao and master swiper Eric Salamat. La Salle has great team defense but no truly outstanding defender. My take: Ateneo goes up 1 point.

COACH. Black versus Pumaren. Both proven, both battle tested, both with something to prove. My take? Black is a master tactician while Pumaren is a master motivator. Another tie, but barely. Ateneo still up by one.

X-FACTOR. In other words, Eric Salamat versus Bader Malabes. So far, Eric has been absolutely sterling for the Eagles, with his effort on both offense and defense usually catapulting Ateneo to victory. Malabes, on the other hand, has been on and off but when he's on, he's really hot. My take? Ateneo goes up 2-0.

CROWD. Noise? Check. Screaming? Check. Old fogeys trying to remember what it felt like to be 18? Check on both sides. My take? Sorry but I think the La Salle crowd has more hotties and cuties than Ateneo.

So Ateneo wins the match up 2-1. My bet is that the series ends that way.

MY BIASED PICK. La Salle. 11 years of education can't be washed away that easily.

MY VERY BIASED PICK FOR NEXT YEAR. UP Parrots, este, Maroons go all the way!!!